Support for all
Support can come in many different forms. As an elementary educator, I support my students by teaching them the basics of their academic skills, teaching them to cooperate with each other, how to listen to others, and also give them help along the way with other academic and behavioral/social needs. As a parent, I support my kids in similar ways. I encourage them to be their own person, but also give advice, set boundaries, help with social situations, and (of course) support them monetarily.
As adults, sometimes it is hard for us to guide and support children that aren’t doing things the way we would do them or the way we want the child to do them. I get stuck on this a lot. Just because I find it easier to do something one way, doesn’t mean everyone else agrees. When I’m teaching, I try my best to present material in different formats so that I’m reaching more students. You don’t like to write? Okay, you may type it or verbally tell me the answer. We offer a variety of support for completing math problems, we watch videos AND read books, we put movements to chants, and so much more. These things seem to come naturally to most educators. I see a lot of adults (myself included) forgetting this skill when it comes to behavior and social norms.
At my place of work, the adults seem to support each other a lot. We share ideas, commiserate with each other, enjoy food and snacks together, and back each other up in front of our students. We will watch each other’s class if someone needs to step out for a minute, or for the whole day when someone needs a day off. And if someone needs a day off, our principal does not ask why or try to get us to change our mind. She tells us to do what we need to do. She also supports us by asking others in charge “is this really necessary”? In asking that, she has allowed us to write our lesson plans the way we want to write them instead of following a specific template and allows us to pick how we want to teach a topic instead of teaching from a script. However, some things are non-negotiable. So if we have to put an objective on the board or turn in our grades on a certain day, we do so willingly. Because we know we have control over other certain things; we give up some control over other areas. We know we are supported and know we will receive help when we ask for it.
However, we are all human and can fall short when it comes to supporting our students or our own children. I recently learned in a joint therapy session with one of my children that she felt like her dad and I didn’t spend enough one-on-one time with her. Immediately, I wanted to come back with all the things I do with her and time I have spent with her or the times I’ve asked her to do something with me and she declined, etc. But I bit my tongue and listened. If she is feeling this way, then my spouse and I need to figure out how to remedy the situation. We need to seek her out instead of waiting for her to seek us out. We need to meet her where she is and do the things she wants to do instead of bending her to do the things we want her to do.
Similarly in teaching, I need to try to listen to my students more. Yes, we need our students to act a certain way so we can teach a lesson. But do we NEED them to sit with crossed legs on the carpet, or can they listen to the story in the chair or stand in a designated spot as long as they are not disturbing others? Do we NEED them write the words, or can they type them or spell them out loud? Yes, I know sometimes there is no choice. Sometimes we need an assignment completed in an exact way — but in those times that it’s not necessary, can we give a choice? Can we let the student decide? In that moment, if we let them have some control, they will feel more supported. And when you feel more supported, you are happier to do the things you might not have control over. When there is a sense of community — -a sense of — ‘I know my teacher will help me no matter what’, then there will be less of a struggle on the things they might not want to do or find hard to do. Just like the staff at my school does, we need to find the time to let our students “vent” a little, enjoy snacks with them, allow them a break with no questions asked, and give them more choices. If we make these things a priority, our students will see that we are trying to support them and will be more willing to do the “non-negotiable” items with us.
