Mindfulness

We hear a lot about mindfulness these days. What is mindfulness?

Dictionary definition: a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

In short, practicing mindfulness means you need to live in that moment, name your feelings, and accept how you are feeling without trying to change them at that time.

I first started practicing mindfulness with my therapist when my son (who is now 8) was around one years old. I found it weird. I did not want to sit in my feeling and try to pinpoint in my body where the feeling was coming from. I certainly didn’t like the silence in the therapy session while I struggled to listen to my body. After awhile, though, I got used to it and started to automatically (in therapy) name where I felt the frustration/disappointment/sadness/ confusion/ nervousness in my body. After I got better about just naming the feeling, THEN we started working on the “why”. We always want to know WHY we are feeling a certain way. Because then we can change it, right? But, in practicing mindfulness, the “why” isn’t at the fore-front. It’s mostly about tuning in to yourself, your body, your feelings and naming and accepting them.

How do we do it?

• Try your best to be in the present. Don’t worry about what happened yesterday or what is going to happen later. Focus on the task in front of you.
• Focus on your breathing. Especially when you’re not sure of your feelings, focusing on your breathing for just 10–20 seconds can help you be in tune with your body.
• Connect with your senses. What can you see, hear, touch, smell, taste at that moment?
• Pause before starting a task. Before picking up the phone, before entering work, or even before greeting your family. Pause and check in with yourself for just a moment.
• Take a “noticing walk”. Walk, not to get somewhere, but just to notice the things around you and how your body feels while you are walking. Toddlers are great at this!
• Think of something you are thankful for. Naming your gratitude can help you stay in the present instead of longing for “the next good thing”.

It may feel odd at the moment, but if you practice mindfulness on a consistent basis, it will become easier. Those who practice mindfulness can reduce their stress levels, more easily regulate their emotions, and can increase attention skills.

Don’t forget, mindfulness isn’t just for adults. Teach children how to be mindful also. If you start teaching them when they are young to check in with their bodies and emotions, they will be on their way to bettering their emotional health.