Make Time for Relationships

For my family, going back to school in August is always a hard transition. During the summer, I’ve been at home (except for a few trainings here and there), we don’t have to set alarms to get up, the after school activities are done, and our pace of life just slows down. In August, it all ramps back up again and it gets a little chaotic until we get into our new routine. I’m sure this is the same for many families (whether you live with a teacher or not). This year will be a little bit different. Because of Covid, most school districts are delaying the in-person start of schooling. But there is still a transition. Virtual school will not be executed the same as it was. Teachers and schools have had time to improve the teaching and learning happening through virtual classrooms. If your child is going back to in person school it will look very different from what they left. There will be less students in the classrooms, stricter rules involving social distancing, they’ll have to wear masks, etc.

Students have been home more than just a regular summer this time. They have been home since March. Most of them are not going to fun camps or having grand vacations, but are just stuck at home. Some of their caregivers may have lost their jobs, or have had to figure out how to work from home. Or maybe their parents are health care workers, work at a grocery store, in construction, or other business where there is no “work from home option”. All of these situations put extra stress on the family. Parents are stressed and kids know it. Just because school starts, we can’t expect the students to put aside their anxiety about Covid, quarantine, or their family life. Change is hard and things these days are constantly changing. This year, especially, we’ll need to take more care with our students. Have more patience, more sympathy, more empathy.

How do we show our students we are there for them and that we care? We should always put relationships first with the students. How are they going to learn from us if they can’t trust us? Usually, the first week or so of school is spent completing a lot of getting to know you activities and deciphering where your students are academically. Then that carries on to what we call “morning meetings” and teaching new concepts. We need to make sure we continue getting to know our students and allowing them to get to know us. Now, more than ever, they need to trust us. There are so many more variables involving school now than there have ever been. Trust and relationships are key to bringing all variables together to ensure a successful school year.

I’ve made a list of some things that have worked for me in furthering my teacher relationship with my students.

1. Praise, praise, praise. The whole first week of school last year, I spent my time going around to my students classrooms with little prizes. If I walked in and they were on task, they got a prize. If I walked in and they weren’t on task, I pulled them aside to talk to see what was going on. I would encourage them to listen and get on task and promise them I’d return in 10 minutes with a prize. Then I’d set a timer on my phone for ten minutes so I kept my promise. I know I can’t do this when we are virtual, but I’m working on other ways to reward my students virtually. Maybe I can mail their parents a prize box!

2. Say what you mean and follow through. Kids (or adults) aren’t going to trust you if you have no follow through. This applies to positive and negative consequences. You say you’re going to bring a prize in 10 minutes, you better be there or send someone else in your place with a note. You say you will call and report to a parent about behaviors (good or bad), you need to follow through.

3. Spend time outside the classroom with your students. Go to recess with them (and engage them at recess), eat lunch or breakfast with them every once in a while, stop and talk to them in the hallway when you see them, or if you’ve stayed after school and they are staying after school, go check in on them in their club or program. In the virtual world, have virtual meetings that are ONLY about hanging out together. Lunches, dance parties, movie watch parties, etc.

4. Have conversations with your students that aren’t about school. You’ll learn a lot. I have kids, so this is a little easier for me because I can talk about what my kids like or what tv shows we’ve watched together and ask if they’ve seen them, etc. If you don’t have kids of your own, you can still find out what your students’ interests are and have a conversation about whatever it is. Learn about Pokemon, Spiderman, and JoJo Siwa. Learn a Tik Tok dance. The kids will think you’re awesome! This is easy to do in the classroom or virtually. You can have a “talk time” at the beginning or end of your virtual or non-virtual class time.

5. Let your students get to know you. My students love hearing about my own kids, my dog, that I love tacos, etc. They think it’s especially funny when I tell them stories about when I was in school. It makes you a real person to them. Real people are easier to trust and therefore easier to listen to. If they are listening to you, they are learning from you. This is also easy to do in the classroom or virtually.

This year seems daunting. I know we can put relationships with our students first. To me, that’s the only way we are going to make progress. Spend time in your virtual classrooms getting to know your students. We can still play games with them even if we aren’t face to face. We can give air hugs and air high fives when we are in person. Ask your students what they need and if they have any ideas for fun activities, virtual meetings, etc.

Remember, build relationships first and the rest will fall into place. We know how to teach, this is just a way to ensure they are listening.