Back to School Anxiety
With three kids and a teacher in our house, the start of school is always a busy time of year. We go from the lazy, unscheduled days of summer to our lives scheduled 5–6 days a week. While the kids and I look forward to seeing our friends again and my husband looks forward to a (hopefully) uninterrupted work day, it is still a time that causes a lot of stress and anxiety in my house.
Change is hard for everyone, especially young children. There are always a lot of unanswered questions for kids returning to school. Will they like their teacher? Will they fit in with the other kids? Who will they sit next to at lunch? As a parent, all of these questions go through my mind about my kids. It’s important to me that they have positive school experiences. Parents also get overwhelmed with everything that goes with school starting (activities, school supplies, new friends, new teachers, new schedules, etc.). Even though my kids are older and we’ve gone through this transition for many years, we still get back to jitters.
There are a few things that we all can do to help ourselves (and our children) have a smoother transition into the school year.
*Create a routine- start the week before school begins. Go to bed on time, wake up on time, get dressed in the morning, etc. Plan as much as you can ahead of time. Will your child take lunch from home or buy lunch at school? How long does it take them to get ready in the morning? Consider walking/driving the route to school beforehand. Being rushed makes everyone even more anxious.
As teachers, we must ensure we start creating routines with our students on the first day of school. We also must remember that the kids are coming off of a summer lacking a routine and cut them some slack. Get the students involved in creating the classroom environment and culture. They will be more likely to uphold the rules if they help create them.
*Don’t plan too much for the first week of school. Adults and children will be tired! It’s tempting to plan a celebratory dinner out on Friday after the first week of school. Resist the urge to do too much. Keep it calm and give everyone plenty of time to sleep on Saturday.
Teachers, don’t push yourselves or the students too hard. Starting the school year is a big transition for everyone. Everything is going to take longer than you think it will. The most important thing to remind yourselves of during that first week of school is meeting the three priorities: were you and your students safe (everyone got to where they were supposed to be)? Did everyone eat? Did everyone feel welcomed? If you accomplish those things, then you will be a success!
*Share a calendar. Back to school means more activities. Put a calendar in the house where everyone can see it and share a calendar on your phones. Older kids can put their activities on the calendar also. That way, everyone is kept in the loop, and it doesn’t fall on just one person in the house. Try to make the critical events, but don’t stress about missing one or two. The first month of school will be filled with meeting the teachers, PTA meetings, back-to-school nights, fundraiser kickoffs, etc. In our house, we have to divide and conquer. Both parents usually can’t go to all things all the time. If you are not in a two-parent household, make friends with another parent at the school and get the information from them if you have to miss an event. It’s okay! You can not be everywhere. Prioritize the things you have to attend (like the mandatory sports parent meeting or your kid doesn’t play the sport).
Teachers’ schedules are tricky during the first week of school! Do your best to keep to your schedule, but don’t forget to give yourself a little grace if it’s not perfect. The most important part of your schedule that first week is to take attendance and get to lunch on time. Set reminder alarms on your computer or phone, or have a student be your reminder alarm. Try not to overschedule the information meetings and be forgiving if a parent needs a quick phone call instead of being able to attend the meeting. Be forgiving of yourself, also if you miss a professional development meeting. There is a lot of them in the first month of school. If it’s something that can wait until October, don’t try to fit it into September. You need rest also!
*Keep the lines of communication open. Even if your kids are tired, ask them specific questions about their day. What was the best part? What was the worst? Who did they talk to at lunch? What papers do I need to sign? Do we need to put anything else on the calendar? What do you need from me (physically or emotionally)? Can we go to bed now?
Teachers, talk with your students and other staff members. Focus on building relationships, especially during that first month of school. Eat your lunch in the staff lounge instead of in your room, ask for help from other teachers when you need it, play games with your students, and share a few details about your life. Your students want to know you as well as you know them.
*Make SEL and mental health a priority. This can mean anything from meal prep to ensuring you and your kids have evening downtime. Be sure to leave space and time to share and process your emotions. In the house or the classroom, you can have a ‘worry jar’ where kids and adults can write their concerns down to put in the jar, create a quiet area where anyone can relax, and make sure everyone gets plenty of time to rest.
Remember, back-to-school anxiety can look different in everyone. Pay attention to yourself and your children and try to keep a positive attitude. After a few weeks, everyone will feel at home in their new schedule.
