10 Ideas to Help a Student with Anxiety

I’ve worked with a lot of students who have anxiety. Here are ten simple things that have helped me help my students work through their feelings.

1. Meet them at their level. This means two things: Try not to talk down to a 5th grader and try not to talk “above” the first grader. Use language they will understand. Also, literally…get on their level. If they are curled on the floor, sit down next to them. If they are facing the wall, face the wall with them. If they are walking around the school, walk with them.
2. Repeat what they have expressed to you. The feeling of being heard can overcome the other feelings.
3. Approach a student with calmness and compassion. Remember that what you see going on (or even what another person in the school told you) is not the whole story.
4. Hopefully you have a relationship with the student. Build off of that. If they don’t want to talk about their feelings or what is wrong, start asking them about their favorite sport, pet, sister, superhero, etc.
5. If the student can’t express what they are going through verbally, maybe they can draw it or write it. Some of our students are very expressive on paper.
6. Get the student to breathe. Take some breaths yourself! Work together to breathe calmly and slowly. I like to put one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly and slowly breath in and out until I can feel my heart slow to a normal pace.
7. Make sure basic needs are being met. If the child is tired, hungry, cold, hot, thirsty, etc. then they will not be able to focus on their feelings.
8. If they aren’t responding to you and won’t regulate with you, then call someone they want to talk with! This can be another person on school campus or even their parents. There is no shame in calling for help!
9. Reward, Reward, Reward! “If you’ll talk with me and help me understand, I will give you _____.”
10. Be empathetic. Start telling them about a bad day you have had or something that has made you sad. Too often, children think that no one has ever experienced before what they are going through. Sometimes, once they learn that you have experienced something similar they could be more willing to listen and regulate with you.